You perhaps need to be a native English speaker for the following – enjoy!

The  Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any  word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one  letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year’s  winners:

> 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject  financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
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> 2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
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> 3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you  realize it was your money to start with..
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> 4. Reintarnation :  Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
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> 5. Bozone ( n.): The  substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking  down in the near future.
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> 6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of  getting laid.
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> 7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very,  very high
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> 8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of  sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
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> 9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
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> 10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra  credit.)
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> 11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is  sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth  explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
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> 12. Decafalon (n.):  The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are  good for you.
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> 13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
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> 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem  smarter when they come at you rapidly.
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> 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked  through a spider web.
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> 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of  a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot  be cast out.
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> 17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after  finding half a worm in the fruit you’re  eating.

The   Washington  Post has also published the winning submissions to its  yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
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> And the winners are:
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> 1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
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> 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has  gained.
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> 3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a  flat stomach.
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> 4 esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while  drunk.
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> 5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
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> 6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a  nightgown.
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> 7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
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> 8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
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> 9. Flatulence, n.  Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a  steamroller.
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> 10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding  hairline.
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> 11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
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> 12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by  proctologists.
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> 13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
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> 14. Oyster, n.. A  person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
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> 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up  onto the roof and gets stuck there.
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> 16. Circumvent, n. An  opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Hi all,
as it is Christmas (not a real excuse) we would like to give away prizes to people who give us good ideas to help promote our English courses.
Every reasonable idea will receive a voucher for a 20Euro discount and the ideas that we actually use will receive a discount of 40euros.

And apologies to any Brits reading – the title “Ideas mean prizes” is taken from an old (and indeed probably one of the first game shows) when the catch phrase was point mean prizes. Well, that is enough semi-English culture for one day

Hi all,
as it is Christmas (not a real excuse) we would like to give away prizes to people who give us good ideas to help promote our English courses.
Every reasonable idea will receive a voucher for a 20Euro discount and the ideas that we actually use will receive a discount of 40euros.

We will run an intensive English course in javea, Spain from 28/12 to 6/1/10 and will also run a course in Spain, near madrid (cuenca) 8 January to 10 January. If you have to come from outside spain then we are sure we can organise free transport from madrid, valencia or alicante airports.